Home
by Abstract' Orchestra
Summary: Rewrite of America the Beautiful! Post-series - Sorta . Kuro and Fai are living in a new world after they are seperated in the last battle, but their life together is riddled with misconceptions. Will Fai dive too deep for release? M for Later Chapters.
1. PRELUDE

**SO I've been staring at America the Beautiful. Staring. At. It. O.O I love the idea, I really do, but I need to revamp it. I WANT to revamp and redo it. I've grown, my style has grown, etc. etc. **

**So I am gunna revamp and try a second time. If anyone has read ATB (America The Beautiful), be prepared for a ton more angst, a lot more in character-ness, a lot more jumping from past to present. However, all the twists are the same!**

**Hope you like it! Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**

_Prelude: Home_

"Youou..."  
The man in question glanced over, a surprised look painting itself all over his face. It wasn't the actual mumbling that surprised him, since the mage had been murmuring in his sleep for over a day, even if most of it was not comprehendible. The thing that made his eyes widen and his breath catch was the fact that he had whispered the name he thought only Tomoyo knew, the name no one else called him by, the name that bound him to his home. The old, ugly, standard blinds filtered the room's light into a dingy yellow color. Particles of dust lazily fell through the harsh atmosphere, perfect defined against all else. Not a thing moved, and neither of the two in the room hardly breathed, and all was deathly silent. The room was quite empty, save for a cheap mattress on a simple black metal frame, an air bed, a hamper from the dollar store, and the shelf the ninja had hung for his sword. A small, almost feminine form lat on the bed, a throw blanket neatly placed over him. Beside him, on the edge f the bed, sat the brutish figure of the ninja himself, now turned to look at the fairy. The realization washed over him that the blonde must have heard him that night, when he pledged his lift to Tomoyo once again in his stupid attempts to keep some sort of hold of what he had always thought of as home. Through the whole ordeal with the Clones, traveling from here to there and back, he had always had one goal: to find his way home, at any cost. For him, making his oath to Tomoyo once again had been a way to set his goal in stone, to make it a promise, and God dammit, he never broke a promise.  
Now, if Fai heard that - that speech that gave away his mind, body, soul, and everything else that belonged to him, which numbered little - If Fai heard that, there was no telling what he would think. Even if it was only a small bit, Fai had grown and was starting to allow himself to trust people, if only by a minuscule amount. To be told in an almost through-the-grapevine sort of way that the person that had snapped at him to trust was now going to leave him at the end of the road was harsh. He could easily sympathise with the fact that Fai had just wanted somewhere he belonged, and after so much he had started to believe that somewhere was in reach. Now, to have that place reeled away like bait on a line, now that was terrible. Only, Fai could never know that the promised land was still in sight. Fai didn't know that Kurogane, deep within the caves of his heart, had already made a pledge with himself that he would follow the blonde, and any part of their little fucked up "Family" to the ends of the earth, and then beyond, if it insured the wizard's happiness and safety. Why else was he here?  
Kurogane grimanced at the lightly built sleeping form of Fai D. Flourite, staring him down angerly. Dammit! Misunderstandings. That what had caused this whole stupid thing, and now the blonde was out cold in a drug, alcohol, pain, exhaustion induced semi-coma. For the last twenty-seven hours he had done nothing but sleep and mumble and sometimes look scared, and there was nothing Kurogane could do about it. Ever since they had arrived in this world there had been nothing but misunderstandings and anger and annoyance thrown under the rug because of daily life. Why hadn't he stopped it sooner? "Wake up," snarled the ninja to himself more than anyone. He clenched his fist in defeated anger. "Wake up, dammit!"

**I LIVE FOR WORDS OF THE WISE. FLAME, AND I SET MY MAGICAL RAINBOW PANDAS AND GILBIRDS ON YOU. LOVE, and I GIVE HUGS. BUT IF YOU GIVE ME CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISM, I WILL THRIVE! REVEIW PLEASE!**


	2. Calm

**Chapter 2! I like the serenity of this one...it shows how, when actually on a good note, Kurogane and Fai are so good for each other. They're polar oposites, but it's beautiful. ;)**

**

* * *

_Ch. 2: Calm Before the Storm_  
**

The house, newly rented and so terribly bare, had been abandoned in favor of their shared back yard. Their downstairs neighbor, also the landlord, was not home, so they had the whole lot to themselves. Fai had strung himself out on the hammock, a bottle of whiskey in hand. The ninja had taken up residence on the ground by the tree, and both were staring up at the stars. The August night was hot and muggy, but it was better than being on the second floor without an air conditioner or fan; at least out here there was the sky to look at and a slight breeze to cool them , if only a tiny bit.

"Perfect night," murmured the mage.

"Mhn," agreed Kurogane, taking another swing of his alcohol. He was shirtless, slumped lazily in his black pants. Fai himself had wanted to take his shirt off, but instead he had stolen the black muscle shirt the ninja wore underneath his clothes. The arm holes stretched halfway down his sides, and the thing hung off him in an unflattering way since he had none of the muscle Kurogane had to fill it out, but it worked. It kept him as cool as he would get and it was insanely comfortable.

They had no reason to speak. Tomorrow was planned for job hunting. Yesterday they had been locked in a prison, suspected of being illegal aliens of some sort. There was nothing to say, nothing to discuss. Slowly, Fai closed his eyes and let his mind wander to the crickets, falling into that soft lull before slumber. Something crossed into his mind, however, and he murmured softly, "Do you think they're alright?"  
"They're fine," grunted the ninja in his usual gruff way. Of course they were. The two of them were probably set up fine in Clow now, in the Royal Palace after some sort of welcome home party. It was actually a pretty stupid question; however the mage had needed to ask it for some kind of fluffy reassurance. "Stop worrying so much."

"I guess it's in a mother's nature to worry," whispered the blonde.

Kurogane glanced up at him, narrowing his eyes. "I don't like that," he stated simply.

Fai could feel those red hot eyes on him, and therefore opened his own and glanced down at the ninja without moving his head. He let his foot rock the hammock a bit, asking with a small smile, "What?"

"You're not a girl, therefore you're not a mother," he said. "Why do you try and fill the shoes of one?"

The crickets filled the intensely long silence between them, during which Fai fell back into his almost-sleeping state. The silence went on for so long that the hammock came to a rolling stop and the ninja was sure he wasn't going to answer, which annoyed him. That's when the blonde answered, however.

"Because I want to make sure someone does the job somewhat right for once."

This caused the ninja to roll his eyes back to where the mage lay, a bit angrily actually, and stare his resting form down for a long time. Fai's form, splayed over the rope bed, wrapped up in his shirt with his hair falling out of it's messy bun.

"A parent is a parent," he said as some sort of retort. "You don't need the specification."

A small chuckle escaped the mage's lips, and he murmured, "I guess you're right, like always."

"Damn strait," muttered Kurogane. He went to take another swing of whiskey only to find the bottle bone dry, to his dismay. After a moment of holding the bottle upside down and glowering at it, he took the matching empty container from Fai's slack hand, which was hanging off the hammock, and pulled himself up. "There's no more," he said bluntly.

"Is that good or bad?" Fai murmured, obviously making a point that they were going job hunting the next day.

Kurogane only replied with a gruff "Your call," and strode away the few meters to the trash can.

"Kuro-Kuro is such a gentleman!" he heard Fai laugh sleepily.

"Tch." He came back and retook his spot by the mage's hammock, now resting his head on the side of it. Fai's arm slowly wrapped around the side of his neck and over his shoulder. He glanced over to find the ninja staring at the place where his shirt rode up. "Kuro-perv, I know I'm sexy and all-"

"If you get any skinnier I'm gunna start shoving the food down your dammed throat!" he snarled under his breath as his glare deepened into something that would scare not just small children, but almost any stranger who came upon him. The ninja wasn't oblivious to the way Fai pulled his shirt down with lightening quick speed, covering his mid-section before he could look at it any longer than he already had. Not that he was going to stare at it, but that was against the point. "And you wanted me to go shirtless, too, Kuro-perv!" he sang.

The ninja only growled; both of them knew why he had snapped at the blonde earlier to take off a shirt and lay out sprawled in the shade to sleep off the burning sun. Fai, who had grown up in cold places and practically froze to death as a small child, was not at all okay when it came to staying in the heat. In Clow he was at least able to keep his feet or some other part of him in cold water when he wasn't out, or keep a wet cloth with him, or stay in one of the smartly-built houses that kept most of the heat out. In America, however, they had to pay for water, and money was not something they had any of. Most of the day he had looked about ready to die from a heatstroke: his cheeks had flushed to an angry red while the rest of him was deadly pale, his eyes had become glazed and lazy, and he had hardly moved at all. His hair kept falling out of his bun and into his face, plastering itself to his forehead. Kurogane had almost forced the shirt off his back, but the mage had pulled himself into life and protested very stubbornly that he did not want to get so naked. Since he acted like his life was on the line, and one tank top wasn't doing too much to his temperature, he let Fai have his way, but had kept a watchful eye on him.

Fai had somehow found the strength to meet the neighbors, though. One moment he looked half dead and the next he was up, smiling at a 17-year-old girl named Kelsie who was living with her parents. He had even worked some money out of her pockets and an air matress out of her basement with a sob story! Enough money to buy them enough bus passes until their first pay checks, and two bottles of whiskey. Again, he had amazed the ninja with the most unexpected of tricks.

"I am not a pervert!" he finally muttered.

Fai only hummed skeptically with a playful smile on his lips. "...But I guess I couldn't blame you. I mean, I am dead sexy."

Scoffing, Kurogane got up to walk into the house angerly. "I'm going to sleep. Unlike you, I'm aware of how badly we need money!"

"Oh, don't deny it!" He heard the hammock sigh and soft footsteps after him a moment later, so Kurogane slowed his pace a tiny bit so they could walk in tune.

The climbed the dark, creaking stairs and descended into their old, ugly apartment on the second and top floor. They crawled a bit drunkenly over to the air mattress and slumped onto it together, even though it was too hot to sleep so close.

And for once, Fai had pleasant dreams. He woke after Kurogane, of course, but he was still in the arms of the ninja. Somehow in their sleep they had spooned, and even in the rising heat he hadn't wanted to move away from the ninja's warmth. Kurogane had been clueless when he woke, unable to choose between moving and staying, but had ultimately not moved. He just studied the way the side of Fai's face looked, beautiful and feminine but then again that of a man's. He studied the way he breathed and the way he smelled: sweet, like flowers.

"Finally awake?" he muttered when the mage started to stir. His head turned and his blue eyes searched him for a silent moment, and then he whispered, "Yeah," as he began to get up. The ninja noticed the way Fai's eyes never looked at him once after that one time. "Take a shower Kuro-stinky!" Fai called back as he left the room.  
Kurogane stiffened. Dammed mage.

When he got out of his short shower (Thank the Gods for pluming!) he found Fai closing the front door, now wearing a pair of shorts that fell to his knees and a different muscle shirt. Still wearing yesterday's pants, the ninja gave him a skeptical look.  
"Kelsie found some clothes for us!" he said happily. "She gave me some of the basketball shorts and stuff she doesn't wear, but she had to steal from her dad for you!" He laughed. "Why are you so huge?"

"So fucking sorry I got muscle on me," he growled in reply. He picked up some of the shorts in the pile and a few knock-off polo shirts. "Well that chatterbox is good for something, I guess."

Rolling his eyes, the mage answered, "You're quite critic, Mr. No-Manners."

Kurogane looked away, glaring. Yeah, he had no use for manners where it didn't count! "Well I'm gunna take a fast shower and then start my search!" the mage sang happily, bouncing away. That happy attitude was what got him a job four days before Kurogane could secure one, and it annoyed the ninja to the core. Fai took every opportunity to laugh at him for his unemployment. "Kuro-Daddy, the mommy is not supposed to make all the money in the house, especially when there's no kids to take care of!" he sang. The ninja would only boil silently, a hard glare flashing at his target. "Shut it, blondie!"

It had been days since they had slept together; Fai now opted for the floor, all stretched out, and Kurogane let him.


	3. Exotic

**My mistake of the first writing of this: I raced. I just wanted to get chapters out, and never thought. Well, I can tell you I thought about this one. Oh, and BTW, this was done like a week ago, but then when I went to put up CH. 4, I saw I had never posted this...**

**I have some sketches of this I'll soon throw up, if I find them.**

**ANYWAY: Yeah, you know how poor Kiku (In Hetalia, that's Japan's name...So I'm talking about Japan) has been drowned, thrown around, and then poisoned by radiation lately? You should really do something to help him. I'm wearing a shirt right now I bought, with the money going to Japan. Hope for Japan. Hope for the World.**

* * *

_Chapter 3: Exotic_

Every afternoon Fai left for his evening waiting job at Bill's Place, a resturant and bar down that sat on the edge of Pheonix Square. Kelsie had pulled some strings there and put in a good word, and with his good attitude, he'd been put to work immediatly.

Mc Donald's had given Kurogane a look of caution, but had hired him in the end as a cook. It was annoying, repetive work, but it was _work_, which ment he didn't feel as useless at the end of the day when Fai came home. He resented the way he couldn't even pay for a fan for the mage to sit in front of when he came back from being up on his feet for hours, or how he pretty much did nothing all day. It made him feel worthless, and of all the emotions in his body, he hated that one the most.

Kelsie would come over with odds and ends from their home, and usually Fai brought him supper from the dinner shift's left overs. They'd eat in their empty parlour, a take-out box each, making small talk in the begginning but gradually becoming silent as Kurogane became more and more fustrated with his unemployment.

"Kuro-grumpy, you're bad mood is catchy you know!" Fai chided him, shaking his fork in his direction. "Maybe you should try smiling, and someone will hire you!"

"Shut it, you useless blonde son of a bitch!" snapped the ninja.

Fai only smiled. "Awww, does Kuro-pride need to feel like a man to be happy? Does feeling a bit like a housewife get on your nerves?"

Thinkinging of every way he could pin a murder on anyone else but him, Kurogane snarled, "I swear, I don't give a fuck about weapon laws-"

"All man," the blonde only chuckled.

What was that supposed to mean? Fai was just as much of a man as he was, even if Kurogane wasn't fast to admit it. Fai had a certain amount of pride that wasn't to be messed with, not that it was particularly easy to find. If you threatened the things he loved, you would have to face his silent, but deadly wrath. He was loyal and loving, which were qualities men should have but lacked, and, unfortunately unexpressive when it came to certain personal things, like many males. How was it they had so much in common, but were polar opposites? Oh, yeah. There was a bit if Yin in Yang, and a bit Yang in Yin.

Kurogane smartly retorted with "And you're not? What are you then?"

As he chewed, Fai smiled and pretended to mull it over siriously. "I don't know. A lot of things I suppose, Kuro-Kuro."

The ninja glowered over his food, not unlike the way he did when Fai somehow found the balls to invite Kelsie over to eat with them. It made him feel like he really had no place there, as the two of them chattered on and on about this and that. He sat there silently glared at his food, almost sulking.

That's probably where it began: with small feelings of abandonment, as if one of them could leave at any time and the other would have no choice but to find a way to go on. Fai had his own friends outside of that small apartment, outside of Kurogane and their backyard, where they spent many summer nights sprawled out.

However, during those summer nights, everything came back to a simple feeling of need: they would stare up at the stars, content in the other's presence and their small bubble that was only big enough for the two of them and their secret life before America.

That life seemed like it didn't exist; Fai's tatto had returned to his back, ebony against his pale skin, moving with his pale form, only visable when he changed, which he did very rarely in front of the ninja. However, Kurogane was aware of how blue his eyes were again every waking moment he saw the mage. He loved the way they seemed to almost glow when the light was low, glittering vibrantly. Fai loved the fact that the ninja had his arm back; Every time he had seen that mass of metal, he'd been forced to remember that it was his fault that it was there, and Kurogane did not have a normal arm. He didn't like that.

Now it was like nothing had ever happened, though, and he wasn't sure he liked that any better.

Sometimes the he would be generous, and they would sit in the hammock together, not sprawled over each other, but still together, rocking slowly, thinking.

One night, Kurogane could hear Fai whispering something that sounded like a ditty under his breath. He tried to listen, but he soon figured out it was in Celestian, a language that seemed to blend and twist so much differently than Japanese, in a flowing, loving manner. Maybe it was only Fai's voice, however, beautiful like an angel's even under his breath. The song soon ended, over much too soon for the ninja's liking. Just like every time before, he wanted to hear more of that exotic tongue which seemed to mock the harsher, twittering, bird-like tones of Japanese.

"What was that all about?" he inquired.

The mage stared at the sky deeply. "About an angel who strays to far from heaven and end up on Earth, but the towns people have never seen an angel and are quick to assume the angel is evil. So they lock it up, and the angel dies alone in the darkness. When the gods cry, they cause a flood that drowns that whole villiage."

"Well," said Kurogane. "That's a bowl of sunshine."

His voice was patient, but the ninja could tell Fai was quick to correct him. "It has a moral. Don't judge someone, or something, just because of their appearance, or based on what you already have preconcieved in your head. Don't have a biased opinion. Create your own opinions about people by learning about who they are, because otherwise you may be killing an agel."

Finally far away from his home worlds for good, with one of them closed forever and the other dead, Fai had finally started to let little snippets of culture slip out. He knew two languages: the flowing, transparent syllables of Celestian and Valerian, which was only harsher because the syllables seem to run into each other and smash in almost an odd way. However, both of them sounded exotic on his lips, and the ninja never hated hearing either of them, though he never spoke Japanese.

Kurogane had found something more surprizing than the exotic words of Valierian and Celestian, though. One day after her had started work, maybe about two days in, he walked in to find Fai with a pencil and paper, crunching numbers. He had pinned his hair away from his face and was going over bills: rent, water, electricity, oil, food. The ninja cringed to think of what they'd have to pay with an air conditioner, or in the winter, when they needed heat.

He scribbled down a number and looked up at the ninja, who had seated himself nearby, also on the floor, seeing as they had no furniture but the air matress in the other room.

"That's our spending money amount for each week next month. Don't go over that number," he explained.

"Me?" scoffed the ninja. "You're probably going to buy a bunch of stupid stuff."

Immediatly the puppy-eyes snapped onto the mage's face. "Y-you don't trust me!" he blubbered.

Kurogane only rolled his eyes, mostly because he probably trusted Fai more than he trusted himself...okay, scratch that. He trusted himself a lot more than he trusted the hyper little blonde, but the mage came in a pretty good second. And he knew this, or so the ninja thought. "Shut up, will you?"

Sulking, Fai collected his papers and put his pencil behind his ear. "Kuro-grumpy doesn't trust me," he muttered for effect. "And I've only been nothing but nice to him..."

"If you were nice," Kurogane snapped from the bedroom, where he was changing, "You'd call me by my name!" It was said in vain, half-heartedly. He really didn't hate the nicknames, and again, Fai knew this. However, it was something to say.

The mage only sang, "Oh, don't lie, Kuro-Kuro! You liiiikkee them!"

Kurogane only glared.

A month of getting settled, of finding jobs and starting a rutine, and this was what life in America pretty much turned out to be. Boring. Calm. Kurogane decided could be bored for a little bit, if it ment he was here with Fai, and the fairy was happy. However, he had no idea that this calm, this happiness was the top of the hill from which they would roll down.

The fan Fai bought was for only the hottest of days, and though August was one sesspool of muggy, unbearable days, the 8th was by far the worst. Kelsie's parents did not want what they called a "shady" figured in their air conditioned house (Was that Kurogane or Fai, both of them wondered?), and the mage didn't have work, so the whole day he was left the boil in front of his box fan. The windows were flung open but the blinds were down, keeping the blunt of the sun out, though it was still a shady sort of bright in the apartment.

Kurogane let the mage sit there for the day, doing the few things that needed to be done without question. Fai rarely spoke, and when he did, his voice was quiet and almost unsteady. "Kuro-puppy, can you put on some music?"

The second splurge of Fai's: a small, dollar-store radio.

The ninja did as he was told and came back into the parlor to check on Fai, who was still miserable, with his flustered skin, lazy eyes, and messy hair. His arms were draped onto the top of the box fan, which was on the floor right in front of him, and he stared into it.

"You want water?"

"Ice," was all he murmured.

Over the radio, someone reminded them, "It's been a record-breaking day here in Rhode Island tempurature wise-"

He got the bag of ice, but instead of cooling Fai down right away, he lazily threw it at the mage's head. The blonde almost toppled over in surprize, and let out a mouse-like squeak. "Kuro-wannn!" he whined, straitening himself. "...So mean..."

Smirking, Kurogane picked the ice pact back up and sat behind the mage, holding it to the back of his neck, moving his sweaty, blond hair out of the way almost tenderly.

"More like it," Fai whispered, shivering softly at the cold.

It didn't warrant an answer.

They sat there in silence until the ice turned to water, and Kurogane lifted the bag away from the mage's skin. Another mean thought passed through his mind again, and he slowly opened the baggy and quietly preced to throw it's contents over Fai's head.

He gasped loudly and jumped, whining "KURGS! I'll get you back for thattt!" The half-hearted glare that Kurogane recieved wasn't very concincing, seeing as it's owner was red and sweaty and drenched like a cat thrown into the bathtub.

"Mmmhhm," hummed the ninja, a taunting smirk on his lips.

"Gah," Fai muttered as he turned back to his fan, replacing his hands on to handle. "You're impossible. I will get you back, I swear!"

"You try," Kurogane said smugly, streatching his legs out so Fai was between them.

A hot, muggy silence came over them then, and both of them fell silent. Red eyes lazily started to trace the top of Fai's ornate tatto; he was wearing Kurogane's insanely large undershirt again, so the whole of the Pheonix's head poked out in greeting, along with the black lines that traced his shoulders and his ribcage.

Kurogane didn't notice he had started to trace it with his fingertip until the blonde shivered under him, and by then he wasn't going to just stop; that would make things awkward and he'd look unsure, which he didn't want at all.

"Does it still work?" he asked.

Fai gave a bit of a half-hearted shrug. "Not that I know of..."

He grunted in understanding.

"I was thinking of getting it removed...Well, removing it myself-"

"Don't," he said sternly.

"Kuro-wan, you don't have a say," said the mage pleasantly.

"I'm still going to voice my opinion," he answered almost indigantly. "And I say you shouldn't get rid of it."

Fai only glared at his fan, though his voice was cheery. "Well thanks for your all-knowing opinion!"

A canine grin and a simple "Your welcome" was all Fai got as an apology. "Bet you'd be cooler with this thing off," he added.

"Yeah," Fai chuckled. "But it's staying on, as much as you wanna oggle."

Immediatly the ninja narrowed his eyes and stared intently at the back of the mage's neck. "Tch. In your dreams, idiot."

Their relationship worked because there was one rule that went unsaid: Kurogane was heterosexual. Kurogane was a man of all men in his own opinion, and what he had with Fai wouldn't, couldn't, and didn't dampen that. Fai was his other half, yes, and (though he'd never admit it) he worried about him. He cared for him. Like...family? It wasn't quite like that, he knew, and so he tried not to think about it, because he'd then have to catigorize their relationship, which was nearly impossible.

Fai only cracked gay jokes for the fun of it, sure Kurogane would never respond. Still, he couldn't help but wonder: What were they?

What was it called, when someone loved you enough to give up parts of themselves for you? What was it called when someone saved your life, knowing they'd be chained forever? What was it called when a person followed you to places unknown without a second thought? There were so many types of love... Familital, friendship, romantic. What they had definately was more than a family bond. It streatched and pulled and tugged at the wide boundries of friendship even though it was somehow beyond that too, but it shied before romantic.

Their thoughts seemed to have met there.

"It's too hot to be so close, Kuro-woof."

Surprized and feeling a tad bit like a rejected puppy, Kurogane moved away with, "Don't worry about the water; take a shower."

Fai didn't answer.

A few hours later, Fai was sprawled on the floor with a hand over his face. He still didn't sleep without covering his expressions a bit, but he didn't suffocate himself in the pillows anymore, which was a start.

His tank-top had been pulled up but the movements of sleep, and his skinny torso was left under the ninja's scrutany. On the left side, the frabric was far enough up so he could see the outline of a rib, even though Kurogane had done all he could do to make sure Fai was eating properly. His hips were sharp steps on his body, on which his pants hung loosely. He still had visable muscle, yes, and the ninja vaguely wondered what he looked like when he cared to eat and not just cook. His appitite had all but vanished in Tokyo even before he'd become a vampire, and though it had seemed he was starting to eat again in Clow, it still wasn't enough to earase months of damage.

Still, the ninja wondered if he was relasping for some odd reason.

He stared at the mage for a few more moments, suddenly deciding that they needed a few things from the store. He left.

Meanwhile, Fai's mind wondered in his dreams, where he watched as the universe tried to put itself back in order. In the din of worlds colliding and tearing, there was nothing he could do as the kids held each other tight, Clow in their shadow.

Wing kicked at his clothing, and for a moment he was blinded. When he regained himself, he finally figured something important out: he had nowhere to go. This thought brought him to Kurogane, who was in the wake of Nihon. Their eyes met for a fraction of a second, and that's when the ninja's brows furrowed.

That's when he started to fight space time itself.

At the exact same time, Fai made the most selfish unconcious choice had had ever made. With fear burning in the back of his throat, forcing his brain into action, he started to fight the swirling wind and claw at the dimension itself.

Kuroganes hand became outstreatched; he had somehow made a lot more progress than the mage. Fai's arm streatched and reached, but he still missed: his fingertips only brushed the ninja's uselessly. With his brain blank in fear, he lunged forward and swung his arm back the way it had come, finding purchase.

As if space time had become angry, Kurogane was shoved at the mage harshly. Fai ignored the pain in his ribs from being hit so hard and just held him in his arms; the ninja was there. It'd be all right.

Fai blinked awake; The sun was low now, giving the room an orange-shaded glow on one side. It was deathly silent exept for a lonely cricket, and terribly still exept for the dust hanging in the stagnant air.

Somehow, the mage felt incredibly, terribly, horribly lonely. That sort of lonely that tears at your insides, when all is silent.

"Kuro-poo?"

No answer.

"Kuro-wan, are you there?"

Nothing.

Kurogane was gone.

He was sure he'd be back any time, but after his dream, the statement felt so much more significant. Kurogane wasn't there. He wouldn't always be there.

He swallowed hard.


	4. Beautiful

**Longest chapter yet! w00t! :D**

**Okay, so, here's the 4th installment...um HAPPY LADY GAGA's BIRTHDAY! (...Well, I'm a few days off, only because FF hasn't been working for me))**

** All the French (Celestian) is translated at the bottom...**

**Don't be afraid to critic, but I I'll take any flames and roast marshmellows while singing the campfire song song. ^L^**

**I always imagined Celes to be like the peaceful, beautiful nation that would rather be peaceful than start a war. I see them as accepting and smart people. Also, I know the Japanese are not, in general, homophobic (Ancient Japanese people thought that a sensei/kohai romantic relationship between two men was actually more pure than a heterosexual relationship), but this is a DIFFERENT Japan, as Yukko says, no? Valeria, though, is relatively...thick. Their fabrics seem heavy, like old English wall-tapestries, and instead of building from beautiful ice like Celes, they build from brick and stone. They speak in German, if you were wondering. (I love German)**

**All Celestian (French) translated at the bottom. **

* * *

_Chapter 4: Beautiful_

Blue eyes. Cautious, curious, scared, exotic blue eyes, glancing down at him from within a furry coat. A beautiful, icey, precise blue that pierced though any haze in your brain like a foghorn.

That's Kurogane's first memory of Fai D. Flourite. The image of a stunningly perfect person trying to quietly catch his bearings, as if he had just escaped some sort of monster.

And then, when he spoke, that perfection vanished in an instant. His voice was smooth as water, but the things he said were just obnoxious!

Sometimes, in Nihon, Kurogane had unconciously missed those eyes. When they had crash-landed in West Warwick, Rhode Island, the first thing he had noticed was not the fact that his arm was flesh and blood once again, but the fact that Fai's eyes were again that precise, beautiful shade of blue.

"Kuro-wan, êtes-vous là?" Fai asked, but then he seemed to figure out that no, he wasn't talking comprehensably. He looked around - Right, then left, but they were in a small ally with a river down the incline and a road to their other side. No one was looking in on them, as if nothing had happened.

"Shhhh," Fai murmured, for lack of words Kurogane would understand. Swiftly, he leaned forward with a hand outstreatched, ignoring the ninja's weary look. He pressed the pad of his gloved pointer finger to the other's forhead, tracing a few symbols there. The ninja closed his eyes tight to the sensation seeping into his brain. In Fai's wake he felt an exotic tingling seeping into his skull, altering his thought process, and he didn't like it one bit.

"Can you understand me now?"

Kurogane, who's mind had just been changed to understand a new language, furrowed his brows. He had gotten a few words: You, understand, me, but still it wasn't right, so he shook his head.

Fai made another movement on his forehead and let the tingling sink into the ninja's skull before asking again, "Can you understand me?"

"Hai." This time, the ninja frowned at the fact that he spoke Japanese and not this new language...He understood it, but it wasn't second nature for him to use it. He wasn't even sure the sounds would roll of his tongue right and, being someone terrible with words in the first place, he wasn't about to try.

The mage shook his head, his eyes showing fustration. Some more symbols were traced across his skin, and all Kurogane could do was watch Fai's pale face with his set eyes. He noticed the way sweat was gathering around the fairy's hairline, which reminded him how hot it was...

"Try it."

"Take the coat off before you fry."

A smile broke out onto Fai's face, but proceeded to take off his big furry overcoat, the one he hadn't been wearing to the final battle.

Kurogane glowered at Kelsie over his take out food yet again. She was wearing a t-shirt, but the neckline had moved when she lean the wrong way, and he'd seen a nasty looking bruise streatching across her collarbone. He glowered at it, but soon decided it was nothing; people got bruises all the time.

Her phone vibrated and, with a mouth full of leftover fish and chips, she took it out to check it. "Ah crap," she muttered, closing the box. "I gotta go. People need me." She hastily collected her things, trying to text whomever it was back at the same time, and waved goodbye before scrambling out the door.

"So..." Fai's bright eyes swept to the ninja. "How was work today?"

Shrugging, Kurogane swallowed his food. "Usual. Some guy said I look like a mechanic...Told 'em I knew enough to get around. He said he knows a guy lookin' for help near here. He'd show me a few things, see if I was any good, pay me better than that place."

Resisting the urge to say, "Is that the most you've spoken in a week?" Fai nodded. "I don't think Piffle's technology would be like America's, though..."

Kurogane shrugged. "Must be something like it." In Piffle, aside from building the cars, he had been taught about the mechanics of his arm and how to fix simple mechanisms if it happened to break.

"Well I'd go for it, if it pays better."

Money money money. Why was everything about money these days?

The ninja agreed.

"I might get another shift," Fai said pleasantly. "Lunch, instead of just dinner. My tips've been good lately to. I guess it's all the smiling I do!" He laughed. "And you always told me not to."

Kurogane gave him the evil eye. "Yeah, when you're as fake as our landlord's tan."

At fifty, their landlord was still spray-tanning herself orange. When they'd first met her, the two of them had exchanged baffled glances: How does a person get that shade? Kelsie had promptly explained the process of spray tanning, and both of them vowed never to go near a place like that.

"I've been saving my tips...I think we could afford a trip to the beach by the end of the summer. Nothing big, just a little swim and a picnic, maybe. It'll be fun!"

The ninja studied him hard. "Didn't Kelsie get a sunburn at the beach?" It was a wonder Fai wasn't red as a lobster by now...

The mage shrugged. "Sunblock works wonders, Kuro-smartie!"

Shoulders sagging, Kurogane glared at him. "I don't swim."

"I figured that," Fai beamed.

"You're not gunna give up, huh?" he muttered.

"Nope!"

Letting out a puff of air, the ninja didn't say anything else. He only proceeded to gather his and Fai's take-out boxes and get up to throw them away. "Whatever."

Only, Fai didn't get another shift at Bill's Place. He got another shift across the street, at Cumberland Farms. The graveyard shift. Conciquently, Kurogane was moved to the morning at Mc Donald's.

That was probably another step downhill, he ninja figured. They had never needed to sleep together in the same bed a lot, but at the same time, they had never been on different sleeping scheduals.

First, Fai went out without telling Kurogane where the heck he was going. The ninja didn't bother pestering him for the answer, since he was probably just going to Kelsie's, but was pleasantly surprized when the mage came back with some good ol' alcahol.

They sat outside again, this time in lawn chairs, each with a bottle of the intoxicating drink in hand. Big plastic toys from the landlord's grandchildren had been thrown onto the hammock for some reason, and it wasn't their place to so much as touch them, in their opinion, and so they found another spot. Absentmindedly, when his bottle was set on the ground by his feet, Fai would braid small locks of his hair, which was getting quite long now, longer than it had been in years. He hummed a small tune as he leaned back, watching the sky.

Kurogane glanced at Fai's hand, expertly moving with little burst of speed here and there. His braids were messy - his hair was in so many different layers, it as an inevidability - but not for lack of practice. Even when his mind was elsewhere, his hands knew what they were doing, as if he'd been doing hair all his life...But it was only a simple braid, so the ninja couldn't be sure. He was sure of the fact that Fai's hair - cut into so many layers, falling over his face, swimming around his jawbone - was silky. He had never actually touched it, at least, when he wasn't sleeping. He had, however, wanted to run his hands through it just once, just to see if it was really as insanely soft and angel-like as he imagined.

The ninja noticed the way he sat, with one ankle balanced on the other knee. His legs always looked longer when he sat this way, but Kurogane liked his long legs, so it didn't matter. His legs somehow didn't look awkward on him or odd. He couldn't quite describe the way they made him look, but it as good, and that's all he knew.

Even after noticing all this, he wouldn't say Fai was sexy. When he looked at Fai, he didn't get all fluttery or feel any difference. He liked having the mage around, that was more than apparent to him, but he didn't have the hots for him. He was close to Fai, he'd be devistated in his own way if the blonde up and left, but still, he and Fai didn't have a thing.

And no, the way he sat was not feminine. Yes, now and again Fai would do the more "girly" option and cross his leg over the other at the knee instead, but it wasn't so very often. He had girly tendencies, "gay" mannerisms sometimes, but, all in all, he was a man. He walked like a man unless he wanted to be stupid, sat like a man unless he felt like doing otherwise, and talked like a man when he wanted to. That's when Kurogane fully understood this for the first time: Fai was in full command of how "queer" he came off as. Like everything else, he had command of himself. The ninja's eyes glanced at the other's, which were hanging low in concealed thought, almost proving the his theory. It was another item on the long list of things that made Fai so foreign. He definately wasn't a girl, and he definately wasn't a flamer, unless he was in the mood, that was.

Damn, was he in deep with this guy. He sighed and hung his head backwards to look up at the endless sky. Was it possible that Nihon, Celes, Clow, Mokona's Japan, and Valeria all shared the same sky? Were Syaoron and Sakura looking up at the same stars? Was Mokona staring up at the same abyss, drinking some insane amount of alcahol? Were these the same constellations that looked down upon dead worlds?

This made the ninja grimace. He missed home, dammit. It'd been so long since he'd settled down...He didn't want to remain in this boring, tiresome world. He didnt' want to keep traveling endlessly, either, if he wasn't needed. He wanted to escape with Fai to his home, if only it weren't for the laws...They'd take their friendship as a relationship, and it wouldn't be long before it was out of Tomoyo's hands.

Kurogane glanced at the blonde out of the corners of his eyes and muttered, "So when are we leaving?"

He saw Fai stop braiding and unbraiding his hair. his hands paused paused, but then went slack and moved slowly to his lap. He only looked at the ninja after a sigh and a roll of his eyes to the sky in a thoughtful way.

"I don't know what's happened. Apparently, the worlds have moved themselves around and tried to reorganize themselves, but the damage we've done...It's imcomprehendable. I have no say in weather or not we fall into a world full of fire, and kill us both." Kurogane could tell he was terrified at this thought; it shined deep in his eyes, with memories of dead family. "My magic doesn't even work properly in this world. You saw how long it took me to do a simple translation spell...You know how intensely I've studied magic. I know when something's not working like it should.

Kurogane took a moment to take this in, but ultimately said, "So you have no way of every getting us home?"

A small smile made it's way onto Fai's lips, maybe at the word "us", maybe because Kurogane was so intent on keeping his promises. "No, I'll find a way to get you home, I just have to figure it out."

The ninja raised a brow. "I can't leave you to fend for yourself," he countered as if it were common sense. "You and your idiot self are coming with me, smart one."

Fai smiled a little wider, his face telling Kurogane something like: "That's not really a surprize...It's so you. I just never expect your kindness..."

Shaking his head, Kurogane downed the rest of his alcahol and proceeded inside.

He remembered going to bed alone on the floor by the air matress, allowing Fai to sleep comfortably. The mage had been looking at him from his perch about six inches above the ninja, those eyes piercing through the dark. Slowly, as if picking his words carefully, he had asked, "Do you think they'd look for us?"

"No." They'd assume we were safe with each other. Everything was over. Why would they go through such trauma again?

"I thought so..."

Red eyes drifted up to search Fai's face. He wasn't looking particularly sad, but he wasn't happy either. He couldn't defind the look on the mage's face, though one word came to mind: need.

He needed someone to stay. He needed someone to tell him that he may just be worth something. He needed tough love. His mask was gone, and even though Fai looked unsure of what to do without it, it made Kurogane feel proud of his handiwork. He'd done this. He'd taken one good look the mage's mask and glared at the cracks below it. He'd ripped away the tape the that had been hastily strewn over those cracks, and slowly started to glue the pieces in the right order. This was part of that, that glue that Fai needed. Assurance.

"...So we move on?" murmured the mage.

Kurogane stared at him with a hard look for a few long moments, and then, for lack of a better answer, he turned over and murmured, "Go to sleep."

He let himself drift halfway between alertness and slumber until he became acutely aware that someone - Fai - was shivering in their sleep. He lifted his head to find the mage curled into a ball, sweat creeping down his clammy skin, shaking slightly, shivering on top of it.

"Oi, idiot."

The mage jerked in his sleep. The ninja's eyes narrowed.

"Mage."

Fai jumped ten feet out of bed and turned hastily to look at Kurogane on the floor. He blinked a few times, as if confused, shivered a bit more, and finally whispered shakily "Oh...Kuro-ninja..."

Kurogane couldn't think of something smart to say back, so he only cocked a brow, causing a smile to creep onto the fairy's face. "Oh, I'm fine now," was the excuse he was given. "Thanks for waking me up..."

"They're not real," the ninja supplied. "The kids are doing fine,...I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, unfortunately...Ashura's six feet under..."

Letting his head seep into the pillow, Fai murmurmed, "Yeah." _You're trying to reassure me it's all right, right?_ Then, he added amusedly, "You have such a way with words."

The ninja turned his back on the mage just like that. Fai almost sighed at this: sometimes, even with all their methods of translation, it felt like they were speaking different tongues. And there was nothing he could do about it.

Fai awoke to silence that clawed at his heart.

He didn't like silence. It reminded him too much of death. When everyone was dead, there was only silence in the air, a deadthly silence. This was almost no better. He slowly moved his hair behind his ear, staring out at the empty, gloomy room with it's stagnant dust. Unconciously, he moved to hug himself, swallowing down the lump in his throat.

He'd see Kurogane this afternoon, before he went to work himself. It wasn't so bad. Just a few hours alone...it was already ten, so he'd be home in three hours, including the walk home. The bathroom could use some sort of cleaning, right? Kelsie was home, maybe? He could keep himself busy for a few hours, right?

When he felt like this, he needed someone nearby, just to tell him to stop being such a baby. He needed Kurogane to snap him out of it. But he also wanted someone to hug him. to wrap their arms around him and whisper in his ear that he was being stupid. To kiss him, even.

But who would want to kiss him? Certainly not Kurogane - What he had with Kurogane was probably going nowhere else fast, and he was fine with that, in a way - and certainly not anyone else. He had no one else like Kurogane: so close, so right, so forgiving, so amazing.

It was really his man-hormones kicking in, he knew. He was human, like everyone else. Exept, it seemed, Kurogane. How did he go so long without it? Oh, well, he could have had something when he wasn't looking, and Fai couldn't talk, now could he?

He really didn't want sex. He really, really, really didn't want it, but his body was human. Well, screw his body. Had he ever cared about it before?

By this time he'd lugged himself onto his too-tall legs and pulled his too-messy hair into a bun that wouldn't stay for long, and made his way to the kitchen. He didn't want food. If he ate now, with his stomach in tight, fearful, remembering knots, he'd probably throw it back up. He did turn on the radio, though.

"Baby I was born this way..." he sung under his breath, off to see what there was to keep him busy. The singer he knew from Kelsey, the lyrics he denied.

There was something wrong with loving who he was, that was sure. He wasn't beautiful, he couldn't love himself, and yeah, God had apparently made a huge mistake. He would hide in regret dammit, and what track was he on?

But it wa s a good, maybe uplifting beat, like Katy Perry's Firework or those other anthem songs. It couldn't dispell the twisting in his stomach, but it helped with his nerves a bit

He opened their closet to get the laundry basket from the floor. On the shelf above the rack, their homes clothes lay dormant, just like new.

When Kurogane came home, the mage was folding clean laundry into two piles. The radio was on quite loud, and Fai was singing to himself. "I woke up with a stang tattoo, not sure how I got it, not a dollar in my pocket, and it kinda sorta looks just like you-"

"Will you shut that crap off!" the ninja snapped. Fai, who had been engrossed in his folding with his back to the parlour doorway, jumped and turned around with a smile as Kurogane turned the music down.

"Kuro-pon!" The man in question rolled his eyes as he took off his shoes. "I missed you!" Fai went on in a sing-song voice. He waved for the other to come closer and, with an eyebrow arched and a very sispicious look, Kurogane abided. He stopped before the mage. Annoying, Fai motioned for him to lean down. At first he wasn't going to, but he decided, what the hell?

What the hell, exactly! He was knocked over by the force of the hug Fai gave him. He had pounced from his place on the parlour floor and wrapped his arms around Kurogane's neck, dragging him down. He hadn't planned it, but they both ended up down there, the blonde still clinging to him. It wasn't that bad of comprimising position: Fai was still on his knees, though Kurogane was over him.

"What the hell!" growled Kurogane angerly. "Get off me, you gay bastard!"

He felt the affects of his word choice immediatly.

The mage tensed up right under him and his arms were off his neck in an instant. Slowly he stared at Kurogane, and for once, those sharp eyes did not clear the fog in his head; they created it. Slowly, Fai scooted back, away from him, but the only thing the ninja really remembered were his eyes. They were huge, just staring. At him, through him, around him, into him. Confused like a small puppy kicked, angry like a woman scorned, decieved like no other, scared like a child beaten. So, so scared.

Maybe it wasn't the word that had made Fai move so fast. For some reason, he knew it wasn't. Kurogane was huge and took up so much space to the point that he had felt like there had been no way out. No way to escape, if need be. Nowhere to hide. His breath had gotten cought in his throat and his heart had stopped for an instinct and all at once his brain had made it's choice, as always: Get your ass out of there?

Swallowing, Kurogane swore under his breath.

"That's right," was all Fai said quietly, his eyes becoming narrow and his voice controlled. "Shit."

The ninja's red eyes moved to the rug, but he did not move to avoid what was coming next. He was afraid he'd say something else stupid, so he didn't open his mouth for a long time. Fai only looked at him cooly, a frown lacing his lips. So, finally, he muttered fustratedly, "You're not going to deny you are, so-"

"I'm bisexual, Kurogane." His words dropped like lead weights from his lips, which were now smiling slighly. His eyes, still becons in the night, were unwavering as they searched the brunette. "It doesn't matter, though. You used that word as an insult and it isn't. Someone's sexuality is not an insult."

In Nihon, it was, but he didn't say that. Fai knew. "I didn't mean-"

"I don't care if you ment it or not, Kuro-pon," Fai hummed softly, still giving him that searching look. "Unconcious thoughts are usually the most truthful. I think I would know that."

The ninja glared a bit and frowned for lack of anything better to do with his face. "Don't tell me what I think-"

"Oh but Kuro-burro, I know you more than yourself, only because I'm not scared to admit things about you," he murmured almost amusedly. "And vice versa. It's not really your fault in the first place, see?" With a devious look in his eye, he looked up at the ninja with his face lowered, looking quite ominous. "Kuro-babe, are there gay men in the army?"

It was the worst kept secret in Nihon: men on the battlefield, deprived of women for months or years, had sex with each other. It was so commen, the church and therefore the state ignored it for their own good. Kurogane had been able to keep it in his pants for the most part - excluding that one time the guys had taken him to a whorehouse at 16. That had been his first and last time. Now he was twenty-seven. He wasn't sure if he should have been proud of the fact that he had stayed so clean for so long, but he bosted to himself that it ment he was more focused than all the others.

As soon as a soldier came home from the battlefield, though, he was expected to be just like everyone else: heterosexual, and proud of it. Macho manly, homophobic, just like everyone else. If you had a gay relationship - expecially if you were a man - you were practically an enemy of the state. Recently, in the last 200 years, the royal family made it so two gay citizens could not be stoned to death on suspicion of not being heterosexual. Even more recently, in Tomoyo's generation, they had made it so proven homosexuals were put through a number of ordeals before being stoned: purification, jail time, public humiation, etc. etc. They were even trying to make it so two gay s commit seppuku together, but many thought of that as too kind: Seppuku was an honorable way to die, and these citizens were in no way honorable.

"Tch. Guys who can't keep it in their pants," he answered in a defeated, embarassed growl. His face became hot. "Yeah, we have 'em."

Fai chuckled, those hauty eyes still trained on the ninja. "Because they get no penalty. No one cares."

"I bet they'd still-"

The mage cut him off with, "As soon as those penalties are brought back, they stop it, right?"

Annoyed with loosing this fight, the ninja snapped, "So?"

"That means," Fai went on, "They're bisexual."

Kurogane couldn't deny this. He stared at the carpet in defeat.

"So," the blonde continued, "in a world where no one cares about your sexuality, in a place where you can be whatever you want, isn't it funny how most people are bisexual? Society breeds a lot of things, including sexuality. My society doesn't care, and therefore, I don't care. I, and pretty much everyone else, wants to love whomever they want at heart. I don't care if they have a vagina or not. I will love them for them."

The ninja swallowed hard. Damn this... He really, really, really didn't want to admit it, but Fai had a damn good point. In his embarassment (And from embarassment he drew anger) he clenched his jaw, body tensed. Defeated, he stared at a place behind Fai.

"I'm right, and you know it, huh?" murmured the mage in something like triumph. "You know, Celestians are pretty smart people, Kuro-fustrated. "

"Obviously," muttered the ninja through clenched teeth, his eyes flashing as they bore into Fai's. They had bred this moron, hadn't they?

Fai raised a brow in confusion, but ultimately answered by slowly raising himself onto his long, lean legs and walking himself right past the ninja.

As he went, a soft, almost inaudible whisper escaped from his lips, a piece of advice from forever ago. La capacité de l'amour est ce qui nous rend humains. Aucune limite pas quelque chose de si beau."

And somehow, Kurogane knew.

* * *

**"Kuro-wan, are you there?" (Like, "Hellooo? Anyone in there?")**

**"The ability to love is what makes us human. Do not limit something so beautiful."**


End file.
